Melinda Salisbury: Kiss, Marry, Kill

(So this is Anna sneaking in before you read the post. Melinda Salisbury is now our late May/June Author of the Month because May turned out to be a hectic month for me and Nat so we forgot to preschedule our posts. Sorry!)

I was so excited when Anna and Natalie from Unquenchable Reads invited me to be their Author of the Month during May. We talked about the kind of post I’d like to do and it gave me a moment to think… I’ve written a lot of posts about where I get my ideas from, and how I build my world, and my top tips for writers, so I thought it might be interesting to do something a little different… Something that would give readers an idea of what I’m really like, deep inside.

And the best way to find out what a person is really made of is by getting them to play KISS, MARRY, OR KILL.

So, I put it to my Twitter followers: Send me your Kiss, Marry, or Kills, and I’ll tell you who, and why. Without further ado, here are my Kiss, Marry, or Kills.

1) Chris Pratt, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans – Hollywood Actors

Ok. Wow. They all have lovely qualities. Buuuuuut… I think I would Marry Chris Evans because he seems like such a lovely, sweet, fun guy. Also his shoulders slay me. Kiss Chris Pratt because I imagine he’d be excellent at it. And kill Hemmo. With kisses. I’d kill him with kisses. So he’d be killed, like the game demands. But also kissed. As I demand.

2) Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter – Harry Potter Characters

Marry Sirius. Kiss Remus. Kill James. Soz, James. But against those two you had less chance than Hufflepuff had of winning the House Cup.

3) Edmund Pevensie, Eustace Scrubb, Peter Pevensie – Chronicles of Narnia Characters

Marry Edmund. Because he’s moody and bratty. And he likes Turkish Delight. I like Turkish Delight. We can curl up on the sofa together and eat it, and be moody and bratty. Kiss Eustace – I mean, he starts out a little horror, but he gets better. Plus, he’d idolise me forever after the kiss. Kill Peter, because he’s such a noble, priggish do-gooder. He’d kiss you in the same way a houseplant would. It would not be exciting.

4) Buffy Summers, Willow Rosenberg, Anya Jenkins – Buffy the Vampire Slayer Characters

Marry Anya. Because she’s ANYA. Kiss Willow. Her weird baby-talk voice annoyed the heck out of me, but I’d kiss her. At least she’d be quiet during it. Kill Buffy. A) She’s used to dying, and B) She was never my favourite.

BONUS: Angel, Riley, Spike. Marry Spike. Kiss Angel. Kill Riley. There is no other acceptable answer to this.

5) Sevro au Barca, Darrow au Andromedus, Cassius au Bellona – The Red Rising Trilogy

Marry Sevro because he’s such a little sweetheart. Sure, he’s violent, and moody and swears too much and dresses in the skin of a wolf. Yeah, he’s more than a little bonkers. But he’s loyal. And generous. And he has heart. Kiss Darrow. Kill Cassius. Sorry, Cassius.

6) The Darkling, Nikolai Lantsov, Maleyn Oretsev – The Grisha Trilogy

Everyone and their mums know of my deep abiding love for Nikolai. If I had to choose between him and Sirius, things would get, well, serious. Marry beautiful Nikolai. Kiss the Darkling (as much as he liked before I wed Nicky). Kill Mal. Poor, steadfast Mal. Goodbye.

7) Sissix, Ashby, Kizzy – from The Long Way To A Small Angry Planet

I read this recently and fell so deeply in love with it, and the characters. I would marry Sissix, because she is perfection. I don’t care if she’s a lizard. I would marry her. I would kiss Kizzy because she’s cute and she might share her Fire Shrimp with me. I would kill Ashby. But I would cry about it.

8) Lord Voldemort, Dolores Umbridge, Fenrir Greyback – Harry Potter Series

Oh gosh, what is wrong with my Twitter followers? This is so grim. I would marry Lord Voldemort. I would kiss Fenrir Greyback. I would kill Dolores Umbridge. I would only kiss Greyback so I could kill Umbridge. Now I have to go and be violently sick.

9) Lief Vastel, Merek Belmis, Silas Kolby – The Sin Eater’s Daughter Trilogy

Ha ha ha. I see what you did here. Very funny. I would, of course, marry Silas. Silas is hot. And cool. And also temperate. I would kiss Merek. For a really, really long time because I feel like he deserves a break. I’d kill Lief.

10) The Queen, Lief Vastel, The Sleeping Prince – The Sin Eater’s Daughter Trilogy

Still funny. Oh, you guys. I’d marry Lief. Yes, I killed him in the last answer. But this time I’d marry him. I don’t expect it would be a marriage to last the ages, but it’s the best of a bad bunch this time. And he can be sweet. I’d kiss the Sleeping Prince. Because he’s pure evil, but he’s also hot. I’d kill the Queen.

Thank you so much Melinda for this amazing post! It was so funny and hilarious and excuse me while I reread this post many times. Natalie and I cannot wait to see what happens in The Sleeping Prince and hope you all join us in reading the continuation of this amazing series.

Xx Sincerely,



4 thoughts on “Melinda Salisbury: Kiss, Marry, Kill

  1. This post made my day. I love Melinda’s guest posts; she’s always so funny and a joy to work with. It’s been a while since I read a guest post that I really loved and will be revisiting, so thank you for this. Looking forward to The Sleeping Prince!

    – Eli @ The Silver Words


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s